Greys & Things

We had our taxes prepared and the news was better than expected!!!!   I had hoped to have enough to pay off our credit card bills and ended up with more than that.  It’s not like I will be running out and spending the reminding.  I need to replenish our savings.  It would be nice to have the money to spend on something fun, but in today’s world, I am happy just to be able to put some in the bank.  I cannot tell you how much of a weight has been lifted off of me.  The last several months have been such a struggle.  My income has become cut quite a bit, so I’ve been struggling to make ends meet.  I hope that now I can keep my head above water.  I was smiling all day yesterday.  It feels so nice to have hope for the future again.  I’ve been feeling really down due to my low income.    I know there are so many people much worse off than me, but I also know that I could end up in that same situation. My husband works in the hotel industry.  It is struggling and many of his counterparts are being let go or having their work reduced. He thinks he is safe, but I don’t know if anyone is safe.

I honestly thing that we have moved from a recession into a depression.  It doesn’t look like it did on The Walton’s, but I saw on TV last night people standing in line for jobs.  It was unbelievable and so scary and sad.

I heard a man talking to some friends in the store yesterday.  He said that he had been employed at the same place for 18 years and was let go.  I know stories like his are being repeated all over the country.  I just pray that things turn around soon.

Recently I heard on TV that some executives are having trouble because their earnings have been cut.  Their self worth has been damaged.  The commenters didn’t feel sorry for the men because they are still very well off.   I completely understand.  I feel the same way about myself.  I am not an executive type person and I never wanted to have a career.  My dream was to have children, but that didn’t happen.  I’m fine that I am childless now, but since I do not have children I have to do something with my life.  I can’t just sit home and not work and contribute to our household income.  There was a time that I brought in 40% of our income.  I was so proud of myself.  Today, I bring in 15% of the income.  My self worth is at an all time low, so I can understand how anyone who has lost a job or taken a salary cut feels.  I am trying to move past thinking of how things used to be and just be thankful for what I have.  My job now is to cut cost as much as possible and keep searching for work.

My hope for all of us is that things improve soon.